Bobby says I'm his biggest fan and hardest critic....it's a tough spot to be in. 
On one hand I love this man with all my being and I want him to be happy. If telling him I love a song makes him happy, then that's what I should do right? BUT..............
I also love him so much I want him to succeed and his dreams to come true......so if the song isn't all that great? I should let him know so he doesn't put out sub par music, right? 
Being a wife of a musician, singer, songwriter is a tricky position to be in. 99% of the time, I do love what he produces, but every once in awhile there's that one song, lyric, riff etc. that just doesn't work. 
Honesty is the best policy, especially in a marriage. I'm honest with my opinion and it's just my opinion! Everyone has one! I have opinions on a lot of things and my opinion isn't always the right one. I love everything he has put out into the music world because it came from him. Some I love more than others :) 
So, am I his hardest critic and biggest fan...that would be a whopping 100% YES! 

When we first came to Nashville, I had no idea what a songwriter round was. I bet 90% of musicians in Ohio have no idea what a round is. Three years later, and I say "round" many times a day, I attend "rounds" almost every night and I schedule "rounds" constantly. 

A songwriter round is two or more people on stage for a set time limit. They go back and forth and sing their original songs (hence the word round). Sometimes it's an actual circle and they go a"round". But mostly it's facing an audience. I've learned a lot since we've started. 

First of all--nobody likes watching a musician fumble around, tuning, plugging in and out, setting up etc when they get up on stage. We the audience would like it if you'd be ready to go when your foot hits the stage. Rounds are on a time schedule, don't forget.

Second-- We want to hear your songs, not your story of why you wrote it. A lot of time there's a long introduction to each song and honestly the audience isn't really interested in where you were when you wrote it, what the weather was like that day and what you had for lunch. We want to feel the story, visualize the story while you're singing it to us. Maybe it's not the correct story in our minds, or another's idea, but that's what music is about..personal interpretation right?  I mean, if you have to explain the song, it's lost its magic already. 

Third--When you're invited to a round, it's not only because we want to hear your music, it's also because we want to meet you, we want you to hear all the other performers music and we want to connect. I schedule for our two rounds every week and there's something very disrespectful about an artist breezing in 2 minutes before they are scheduled on stage and jumping off, packing up and rushing back out the door. I'm sorry to be blunt, but your music isn't that good that the whole show was about you. The hosts put a lot of time into running the rounds, making fliers, scheduling, promoting and setting up and tearing down. It would be very nice if you came early or stayed afterwards, ordered a drink, talked a little to the other songwriters who are waiting to perform. Just basic manners. 

Fourth--No matter if the song is good or bad, the songwriter is in tune or not, it takes a lot of courage to get up in front of an audience, even if it's just an audience of 2 or 3. I've heard my share of not so pleasant songs and singers, but there's no way I could get up there on stage with everyone looking at me. So, to all the audience members-clap and smile when the song is done, say "good job" when the show is over, because if it was easy-we'd all be on that stage, right? 

Fifth--Not all rounds are created equal. Even at my age (50's) there are still cliques! Makes me sad that we didn't grow out of our cliquey high school days. Unfortunately, there are many, many rounds that won't allow just anyone a chance to perform. Bobby and I had a hard time finding places for him to play when we first came to Nashville. And still don't get into a lot of rounds. We decided a long time ago, that we'd help anyone who asks. Good, bad, indifferent all songwriters are welcome on our stages. We'd love to give you a chance to perform! We just ask that you follow a little bit of basic respect for the hosts, the venue and the other performers. 

Musicians, songwriters, singers... basically are all here for the same reasons... to be heard.

So next time you get invited to perform at a round:
1. Come early or stay after and listen to the other performers, talk to them, network, say hi and thanks to your host.
2. Get up on that stage as if you were playing Madison Square Garden, ready to give it your all!
3. Limit your song introduction to just the title and who you wrote it with. Let us, the audience interpret your song and feel it. I promise if someone really liked it, they'll ask you about it when you're off the stage. (Happens all the time to Bobby) 

We'll see you at the next "ROUND" 

One of my biggest complaints is Bobby doesn't hear me. I think I may have it figured out! 

At our songwriter round the other night, We had some new writers going up to the stage. He asked me their names, walked to the stage and as soon as that microphone hit his lips, he had forgotten their names. Everyone laughed, but huh???

This man knows song lyrics from songs written in the 50's, 60's, 70's, 80's, 90's. He actually sang a song on stage the other night which was the first song he had ever written when he was 8 years old. He played and sang it flawlessly.  That was 47 years ago! So, I think if they could examine his memory, there would be boxes upon boxes of song lyrics in his memory and he's just run out of space in there. There's no room left for even the smallest piece of information.

I think new information goes into his ear and moves around for a second but can't find a place to land, so it flies right back out of the other ear. It's not his fault really, it's just his profession. How does he remember new songs you ask? Well, it's very possible that there is a spot just for new lyrics, but it's reserved for that and that alone. There must be some sort of intricate lock on that space that only a new song can open. 

That has to be it, because I know I'm an interesting person and what I have to say is valuable....it's just my musician has run out of RAM! Maybe he needs to clean out his cookies and cache?? 

We just had a grandson! Baby Finn Jacob was born on June 14th and we were able to go spend a week in Ohio to cuddle him and introduce ourselves. He is a beautiful baby and I'm allowed to brag because I'm the Grammy. All the stuff a baby needs is incredible. I had forgotten what all is involved to take a baby or toddler out of the house. When you leave the house, you have to have diapers, wipes, change of clothes, blanket, binkie, toys, bottles etc. 

I have teased Bobby for awhile that I was going to start packing him a small "diaper" bag for his shows. Usually he grabs his guitar and throws his harmonica and holder in my purse. Along with picks or whatever else he needs to take with him. My Coach purse is definitely not a fashion statement, it's a carry all for Bobby Ray gigs. There's also the matter of advil, allergy pills, bandaids, tums, gum, kleenex....you never know what you might need at a 3 hour gig. 

Some musicians are not the most organized or make detailed plans. At least my musician isn't.  They need a lot of "stuff" for a show. Cords, microphones, picks, stands, tambourine, business cards and on and on. A lot of times, my purse ends up being the junk draw for music "stuff." 
I'm gonna take a clue from my grandson's diaper bag and make my life and my purse a little lighter! 

Bobby and I had a conversation about schedules this morning. 
I keep a calendar just for his schedule and shows. It's with me all the time and I don't think he's ever looked at it. 
Before me, he kept all his dates in his phone, but since me....he just asks me what's going on. 
This morning I wanted to go over his schedule for the upcoming week with him, and he said "Clay and Steve keep everything in their phone. I really need to take time to put it all in my phone." Great idea, honey...let's see if he actually looks at the book in the next few days. And I promise, later today he'll ask me what time his gig is tomorrow, and tomorrow morning he ask me again what time it is and where it is. Maybe if I put his schedule in his phone, he'll look at it? 
I've learned that if I do it, he doesn't! Like scheduling songwriters for the rounds, keeping track of his schedule, making fliers etc. I actually like doing all that. It keeps me connected to his music and his career. But I'm more than happy to share the responsibility with him. 
I used to go to every single performance. It can be exhausting and overwhelming. I've recently started saying no. At least once a week, I stay home and take care of me and do the things that I like to do, instead of sitting around a venue. Don't get me wrong, I do like hearing everyone play, but if I get burned out, he gets anxious and home isn't so sweet. So I make sure, if I really need time to myself, I take it. Monday's are my day off from music. He hosts a round every monday and I used to go to them all. It was too much and so now I look forward to my monday nights to myself. 
Waiting for the call later today, "honey who plays tonight at the round?" and tomorrow "What time is my show again?" 
:) Love my music man

I'VE BEEN A MUSICIAN'S WIFE FOR TWO YEARS NOW, BUT PART OF THIS LIFE FOR THE LAST FOUR YEARS. OVERALL, I LOVE IT! I MEET LOTS OF INTERESTING PEOPLE AT GIGS , SOME OF WHICH HAVE BECOME MY FRIENDS. MY SCHEDULE? 5 DAYS A WEEK, I'M AN ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT DURING THE DAY AND 5-7 DAYS A WEEK I'M A ROADIE, VIDEOGRAPHER, PR MANAGER, FASHIONISTA (JUST FOR MY HUSBAND) , HAND CLAPPER, PICTURE TAKER ETC. I WORK TWO FULL TIME JOBS AND I'LL TELL YOU, MY DAY JOB IS SO MUCH EASIER. 

WHEN I MET BOBBY, HE TOLD ME THAT HE SANG AND PLAYED GUITAR. AWWW, THAT'S SWEET. FIRST TIME I HEARD HIM PLAY AT AN OPEN MIC, I WAS SURPRISED. FIRST TIME I HEARD HIM PLAY A 3 HOUR GIG, I WAS IMPRESSED. AND IT WAS FUN! 

NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS WOULD I HAVE IMAGINED MY LIFE AS IT IS NOW. I HAD NO IDEA WE'D MOVE FROM A TINY TOWN IN OHIO TO NASHVILLE TN AND JUMP FEET FIRST INTO THIS LIFESTYLE. BUT, WE'RE IN IT DEEP NOW! I WOULDN'T HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY. 

IS IT WORTH IT? YES! IS IT EXHAUSTING? ABSOLUTELY!  DO YOU GET BURNED OUT? OF COURSE! BUT....WE'RE A TEAM AND WE'RE IN THIS TOGETHER.  HIS FAILURES AND SUCCESSES ARE MINE AS WELL, AND WE'RE HAVING A BLAST IN OUR 50'S BEING ROCKSTARS!